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By Mrs. Debbie Selengut

Rosh Chodesh Kislev

Dear Kalla, עמו”ש

A Guten Chodesh!

When I am asked how I pick which idea I chose to share, my answer always is that Hashem chose it for me, because at some point during the month, I have a clear sense that others might be able to gain from something that I have learned, and that has profoundly impacted me.

This month, our dear, delightful sweet granddaughter, מלכה בת נפתלי יעקב was נפטרת, and although I could write about the grief, I want to share a message, something   that I learned from many of the wonderful people we spoke with during the שבעה, and since.

When a person is thrust into a new reality, a loss of such magnitude, we can feel off balance, confused, and unsure of what we are feeling.

With a lifetime of learning and inculcating אמונה, and the strong belief of השגחה פרטית, putting it into practice, and seeing it in the present צרה is very different.

The structure of שבעה, and all of the הלכות are perfectly designed to allow us the time and space to feel, and the opportunity for others to share what they have learned, and what has helped them through their own personal journeys.

I want to talk about those people.

It takes a tremendous amount of courage to walk into a home where you possibly know no one, or maybe more courage if you do know them, and to be there, in the most vulnerable way, to share your pain and insight with others, for the sole purposes of making them feel not so alone, understood, and hopefully stronger.

And the more people that share with you, the more you become aware of the power and gift of sharing with another person, people that we see each day, or people that we don’t know at all are actually heroes. People that carry pain, and loss, and also carry joy, and encouragement, and strength.  And we meet people that are unafraid to share.

And then you realize that people you interact with daily, or maybe on a more sporadic basis, or maybe everyone in the world, carry so much joy; but maybe not only joy.

And when they have the opportunity and strength to share what they have learned with someone, that might be where they were at once upon a time, they are doing the most incredible thing, and they are a hero.

Because it’s still hard for people to revisit and access that pain even if it was years and years ago. I witnessed that.

I recently listened to a shuir by Rav Uri Deutch, and I took his words, wrote them down in my siddur and say them when I daven.

I want to share them with you, and you may find that thinking this over and over really changes how you see your situation.

 Every difficulty we undergo is the Ribono shel olam guiding our lives.

It isn’t punishment.

Hakadosh baruch hu, grant me the insight to see how what you

designed for me is there for me to grow.

Show me how this is related to my mission,

give me the strength to be able to grow from it,

and the profundity to appreciate it,

and the clarity to be able to accept it.

 Wishing us all a wonderful month,

I happen to LOVE כסלו, I LOVE חנוכה (and I LOVE my birthday!)









Mrs. Debbie Selengut