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By Mrs. Debbie Selengut

Rosh Chodesh Teves


ראש חודש טבת

Dearest Kalla, עמו”ש

א פריילעכן חנוכה and א גוטן חודש  !

ב”ה  it has been a month of simcha for our family, as our youngest daughter Mimi is engaged.  I know many of you are thinking, “that can’t be for real, she was just born”. You’re right, she was just born! But ב”ה, the years fly by and we feel truly געבענטשט.

We also celebrated the חתונה of our niece, and I heard something at שבע ברכות  that had a real impact on me.

If you attended any Chanukah parties, or participated in any special Chanukah seudah, I would guess that there was at least one speaker that asked the famous question of the Bais Yosef:

“Why do we celebrate Chanukah for 8 days? If there was enough oil for one day, then the נס was only really for 7 days”

I am sure that you heard many answers to the question, and all of them are fascinating,

But the point my brother brought out was that 500 years ago, the Bais Yosef asked a question, and this question is quoted and asked, and answered, and discussed at every Chanukah party, and seudah, in all of our cities, for the last 500 years!

One person asks a question, and it reverberates around the world forever!

That is the impact a person can have. One action, one kind word.

But sometimes we hesitate. Should I say it, it’s a little awkward, should I go, I don’t know them that well….

Often, we feel that we can make a difference by saying something kind, or going the extra mile, but we lack the confidence to do it.

Should I, shouldn’t I, should I, shouldn’t’ I…..

Go to the simcha? Redt the Shidduch? Go to be מנחם אבל? Ask someone out of work for his resume and try to make a connection? Invite her for Shabbos? Drop off cookies at a new neighbor’s house? Raise money for someone in need?

Confidence is a belief in oneself, the conviction that one has the ability to meet life’s challenges and to succeed—and the willingness to act accordingly.

It might feel risky, it might feel a little uncomfortable, but the impact you might make can be life altering for you and for someone else.

Confidence will often be the difference between taking that step, or staying where I am.

And let me add one more thought on confidence.

It’s also an attractive trait, as confidence helps put others at ease, but even more than that, makes others feel safe.

When you can take that bold step, the one that you know is right, but might feel scary at the time, you bolster your own confidence and that of those around you.

I have been “the new kid on the block” many times in my life, in different cities, and at different stages.

I will always be appreciative of that girl (shout out to Nechama Idstein!), who came over to a scared, out of place looking 6th grader, sitting on the school bus on the first day of school, and asked if she could sit next to me.

Besides becoming lifelong friends, she taught me a life lesson about having the courage to make the first move, to initiate, to put yourself out when you don’t know what the response will be, to be vulnerable.


Push yourself a little out of your comfort zone.

The confidence it builds in you, and the inspiration it can offer the recipient, can last forever.

Wishing you a פריילעכן זאת חנוכה!






Mrs. Debbie Selengut