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By Mrs. Debbie Selengut

Rosh Chodesh Sivan

To My Dear Kallas, עמו”ש

א גוטן חודש!

A number of years ago, I joined a group of friends in an early morning exercise class.  It was different, in that it combined rigorous exercise with positive affirmations. In the beginning it was very weird and super awkward, because as we did the exercises, we actually said these affirmations out loud. I have to tell you that even as I write this, I remember the discomfort I felt at the beginning.

As the level of intensity increased, we said to ourselves, but out loud, “I can do hard things”, repeating it over and over. “I can do hard things; I can do hard things”.

And, repeating these words, as I worked harder, actually fueled my energy, gave me confidence in myself and my ability, and prevented me from quitting, because….” I can do hard things”.


It’s been many years since I’ve moved on to something else, but I learned something very powerful from that training, and have drawn on it many times.


When faced with something daunting, either because it’s new, and we’ve never been in that situation before, or because it’s just plain hard, how we speak to ourselves about the challenge can determine the difference between success and failure.


Moving to a new neighborhood, starting a new job, dealing with challenging situation with a child, or a child’s school, or a meeting we’re dreading, or a conversation we’re dreading, or pulling together a Yomtov when not feeling well, or pushing through a night with a baby when we are exhausted…. can be less hard when I remind myself “I can do hard things”.


It can seem huge, and overwhelming (I hate that word by the way-for another newsletter) to take the first step. To have the courage to leave the dead-end job, to set up that therapy for our child, to make that shopping list and sauté that first onion, to smile and cuddle that crying baby, to go out of our way for our husband when we don’t really feel like doing it…. But “I can do hard things”.

Self-talk is so powerful….in both directions, If I reinforce how hard or challenging something will be, then every time I think about it, I reinforce my fear and feelings of incompetence,

But if I can face something with courage, self-confidence and intention, I might be amazed at what I can do.

Try it! I would love success stories!

Have a beautiful Yomtov!

With love,





Mrs. Debbie Selengut