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By Mrs. Debbie Selengut

Rosh Chodesh Tammuz


To My Dear Kallas עמו”ש,

A Guten Chodesh!

It happens to all of us at one time or another. (I think I’m pretty average….)

“I’m in a bad mood”

It can be triggered by so many things; by not sleeping enough, by taking on too much, by not eating properly, by neglecting ourselves, by hearing bad news, by listening to the news, guilt, small rejections, stress…

And here’s what we can look like when we are in a “bad mood”:

Low on confidence




Quiet or disconnected

Anxious or even panicky

I am going to be a little controversial here.

There is a lot of emphasis on how we feel about something.

How do I feel? Why do I feel that way?

And often we spend a lot of time and energy on figuring out our moods.

Maybe sometimes too much time? Maybe too much energy?

In a recent shiur by Rabbi Joey Haber, he addressed the topic of moods, and of bad moods in particular.

He quoted the Mesilas Yesharim:

שהוא מניח עצמו ביד כבדותו, ודאי הוא שלא יצליח

Hashem created man (and women!) with a tiredness, and heaviness,

If we leave ourselves to that heaviness or tiredness, it’s going to take over my life.

The literal translation is that I will definitely not succeed.

Meaning to say, giving into “I’m not in the mood”, can dictate my life.

Everyone has highs and everyone has lows.

We all feel “not in the mood” sometimes.

But we can’t get stuck there.

We can have the strength, and the conviction to pull ourselves out of that mood

A number of years ago, while being מנחם אבל Mrs. Shani Herzka and her family, one of the daughters mentioned something remarkable about her father.

Rabbi Herzka advised so many, in so many areas, and helped many people “unstick” themselves. The words he often used were “Climb out of yourself”.

It’s so easy to just stay stuck.

We can hold two  truths at the same time.

I can be very tired and I can make supper

I can be feeling insecure and I can still smile at people.

I can feel overwhelmed and still take the next step.

I can feel like crawling into my bed, and I can get up.

Climb out of myself…

I can drown in my feelings or I can put energy into changing my feelings.

We are able to change our moods.

We are able to be stronger than our moods.

I don’t have to be what my mood says I have to be.

It can be a real challenge but I CAN DO HARD THINGS!




Mrs. Debbie Selengut