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By Mrs. Debbie Selengut

Erev Yom Kippur

Hello my Dear Kallas, עמו”ש

Really, my intention was to put some thoughts on paper before Rosh Hashana, but with all of the good intentions, I could not get it done…. I recalled a newsletter I once sent out to you (or should send out) about not being so hard on ourselves, and that sometimes we just can’t do everything. So, taking my own advice, I deferred it until now.

The hour is late, and the “I have to’s” are calling me from the other room, but I wanted to share a beautiful thought with you that carried me through Rosh Hashana, and I keep replaying over and over in my mind.  I also feel that it’s a message that can help me throughout the year when I have difficult times.

After hearing this from Rabbi Joey Haber, our son expounded on it, and made it very personal for our family.

We might be completely committed to עבודת ה, but possibly we have to revisit what that means.

Possibly, our tefilos resemble something like this:

Hashem, if you give me perfect health, I will be able to do mitzvos fully and properly

Hashem if you give me perfect children, I will have the menuchas hanefesh to love them more and nurture them.

Hashem if you make my relationship with my parents easy and not complicated, I can do the mitzvah of Kibbud av v’aim better.

If you fix all of the flaws in my husband, I can really be a good wife.

Hashem if we had more money, a bigger house, a second car, better jobs, live on the right block, had more ideal childhoods etc., it would be really really easy to serve you.

If only this…

If only that….

The challenging part of being an עבד ה, is being an עבד ה when the circumstances are not perfect, when things are not all lined up,

When things are complicated, when I don’t understand, when I’ve been misunderstood, when I’ve been slighted, when I’ve been embarrassed….

And you can probably add your own endings…

Sometimes things are great, sometimes they even seem perfect (or close), but more often they are not.

Hashem, I want to try to do the best I can with the circumstances that You feel are best for me to be the person I am supposed to become.

My intentions are pure, my motivation is real. Please help me.

Wishing each of you a גמר חתימה טובה,





Mrs. Debbie Selengut