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By Mrs. Debbie Selengut

Rosh Chodesh Cheshvan

To My Dear Kallas,  עמו”ש

א גוטו חודש!

So many thoughts, emotions…

First though,  always gratitude, for being able to experience a yom tov with family, with children, with parents, with friends. 

For the opportunities that Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur allow us.

For feeling Hashem’s warmth and protection  in the sukkah

And  then it all came to a halt.

Our world has changed, and I think that forever we will remember where we were standing, and what we were doing when the realization hit that nothing will ever be the same. 

Each one of us has different circumstances, and realities, and because of that, we are going to each hear and internalize  different messages. I, like you, have heard many beautiful and inspirational stories  over the last 10 days, and I am trying to figure out what I need to do in a real tangible, and lasting way.

I. Me. Myself.  Where do I need to grow, what is my mission in this “army”.  I’m working on that. 

Right after Yom tov, I was speaking to a young husband and father living in Eretz Yisrael.  After many air raid sirens, and trips to the stairwell or the miklat, everyone’s nerves were frayed. 

The fear, the uncertainty, and the feelings of hopelessness  were wearing him down. 

But there was something else. 

After returning from a fast trip to the makolet, where he encountered empty shelves, he returned home, basically empty handed. His overwhelming sadness and fear  was due to  his inability to provide for his family and to keep them safe.

“As a husband and as a father” he expressed, “I have a responsibility to take care of my family, It is so hard and scary to not be able to do that. The feeling of ineptness and failure in not being able to do so is crushing.”

After that conversation, I started to think about husbands, and I realized that I usually think more about wives. and looking through our previous rosh chodesh newsletters, I see that I really always focus on women (kind of makes sense, that’s who the newsletter is for).

So here is a thought about husbands. (But first a thought about wives….) We are often primarily focused inwardly . Not in a selfish way; we are keenly aware of our struggles as women, wives, mothers, sisters, daughters….now  I’d like to give some thought to the struggles of husbands. The above conversation with that young husband is probably representative of many husbands.

The responsibility of leading a family and providing for a family can be overwhelming, and  in this case, overwhelming .  Husbands wake up with the responsibility of providing for and protecting their families, and they go to sleep with it. 

We can help support them, emotionally, financially, spiritually, but the responsibility is theirs.

There might be one more thing that we can do for them. 

We can Daven for them.

There is a beautiful tefillah that I have included, that a wife can say for her husband’s health and success. 

Besides the strength of tefillah, it focuses us on his struggles, and what he hopes to achieve in both the ruchnius and gashmuis realms.

Taking a minute to say this tefilla will hopefully put us in touch with what he wants for himself, and what we hope for him.

Wishing us all a month of bracha and yeshua. 

Just as difficult things can come about In the blink of an eye,  so too can wonderful things.

תפילת האשה על בעלה

יְהִי רָצוֹן מִלְּפָנֶיךָ ה’ אֱלֹהֵינוּ וֵאלֹהֵי אֲבוֹתֵינוּ אֱלֹהֵי אַבְרָהָם, אֱלֹהֵי יִצְחָק וֵאלֹהֵי יַעֲקֹב, שֶׁתִּשְׁמוֹר וְתִנְצוֹר וְתִטֹּר אֶת בַּעֲלִי מִכָּל נֶזֶק וּמִכָּל רַע וּמִכָּל חֹלִי. וְתִתֵּן לוֹ חַיִּים טוֹבִים, חַיִּים אֲרוּכִים, חַיִּים שֶׁל עוֹשֶׁר וְכָבוֹד. וְתִתֵּן לָנוּ זֶרַע שֶׁל קַיָּמָא וּבָנִים הֲגוּנִים וְצַדִּיקִים, וְתִטַּע בֵּינֵינוּ תָּמִיד אַהֲבָה וְאַחְוָה, שָׁלוֹם וְרֵעוּת.

וְתִטַּע בְּלִבֵּנוּ אַהֲבָתְךָ וְיִרְאָתְךָ, לַעֲשׂוֹת רְצוֹנְךָ וּלְעָבְדְךָ בְּלֵבָב שָׁלֵם כִּיהוּדִים כְּשֵׁרִים. וְלַעֲשׂוֹת צְדָקָה וָחֶסֶד עִם עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל. וּתְבָרֵך אֶת בַּעֲלִי בְּרָכָה שְׁלֵמָה בְּרֹב עוֹז וְשָׁלוֹם, כַּדָבָר שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: ” יְבָרֶכְךָ ה’ וְיִשְׁמְרֶךָ. יָאֵר ה’ פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וִיחֻנֶּךָּ. יִשָּׂא ה’ פָּנָיו אֵלֶיךָ וְיָשֵׂם לְךָ שָׁלוֹם”. ונאמר: “ה’ יִשְׁמְרֵהוּ וִיחַיֵּהוּ וְאֻשַּׁר בָּאָרֶץ”, אָמֵן כֵּן יְהִי רָצוֹן.

(ספר תחינות ובקשות)


Mrs. Debbie Selengut