To My Dear Kallas עמו”ש
So……all of those things that were going to happen “after Pesach”….
It’s a time of newness for many.
A new “zman” for many men and boys.
A return to school for children and teachers after a long break,
Full houses are emptying out as married children return to their homes.
A new “summery” schedule for many parents… later nights, more outdoor time…
And a new life for many newlyweds.
Some adjustments are smooth, and some are not.
Some are quick and some take time.
There is a phrase that has helped me over and over again:
מה שלא יעשה השכל יעשה הזמן
What the intellect often cannot do, time can
Adjustments can take time.
Relationships take time…
It’s hard (or impossible) to talk ourselves into being okay with new, unfamiliar and uncomfortable circumstances.
I cannot just “will myself” to be okay, or “decide” to be okay or even happy with something I am struggling with.
What I can do though, is suspend the constant checking in with myself and asking myself “how am I doing?”, “how am I feeling”…..
The constant checking in with myself can create a sense of no progress, or frustration, that I might feel in the short term,
But if I’m am able to take a longer view, and appreciate the gift of time, I might have the opportunity to really see progress.
This happens in every arena.
I’m working on my marriage, putting in a lot of effort, trying to understand my spouse better, stretching myself. I might not see the growth in small increments, but will see it over a span of time.
I am trying new interventions to help a child through a hard time or trying to help him acquire a new, necessary skill, but the growth is so slow, so incremental.
I have a health goal, but the results are so minimal.
I feel pain, or sadness over a loss…. The fog can be so thick.
מה שלא יעשה השכל יעשה הזמן
It’s true.
Time is a gift.
The work has to be done, but it’s the gift of time that allows me to see the healing or the growth.
Be patient with yourself.
Trust the process.
Wishing you a beautiful month and a beautiful spring!