Talking about humor in a newsletter titled “Chodesh Av” might seem incongruous, but I’d like to share something with you that’s on my mind.

I do not follow politics, I don’t understand politics, and quite honestly, no one in politics has ever asked me for my opinion – on anything. But you can’t escape hearing (or seeing) the very public, very demeaning representations lately of President Biden.

The media doesn’t miss a mistake, and social media doesn’t miss an opportunity to spread that mistake to anyone who may or may not want to see it.  I don’t understand the political gains achieved by doing this, but it just hurts me. An elderly man, being made fun of for misspeaking, mis-stepping, forgetting. Ouch.

Let’s switch scenes for a moment.

I went to visit my most wonderful in-laws the other day. They are truly the most incredible people. (I always tell my mother-in-law that I want to be just like her when I grow up).

My father-in-law is a תלמיד חכם, a brilliant educator, sweet and the warmest most tuned in father and father in law one could have.  He is בלי עין הרע in his mid-nineties; still learns with his sons daily and is visited by his many grandchildren, great grandchildren and even great-great-grandchildren, often.

Ask him anything about growing up on the Lower East Side in the 30’s, about Rav Moshe Feinstein or about Lakewood in the days of Rav Ahron and he will be happy to share. He just doesn’t always recall the name of the person he’s talking to.

Being the first (and therefore favorite) daughter in law in the family, I have always felt close to, and extremely respectful of, my father-in-law.  He has always been very much a part of our lives as well as our children’s lives, and he was the person we would turn to first and foremost for chinuch advice.  He makes everyone feel good and gives us so much confidence in ourselves as parents.  But lately, he does not always recognize me when I come to visit.

Last week when I walked in, he looked up at me, smiled and said “Debbie”.

I don’t know if anyone has ever made me feel so good with one word. In that one word, ‘Debbie,’ my admiration, my respect, and my appreciation for who this man is filled me with unbridled joy.

And now back to President Biden.  I don’t know enough about him or about what he is either capable or incapable of doing. What I do know is that he is a person. He is someone’s husband, father, grandfather, uncle, friend. And he is President of the United States of America.

The world, sadly, can and will do what they want, but in our homes, there is only place for respect, derech eretz, positivity, and dignity.

Now back to a sense of humor. We want to laugh; we need to laugh. We want to make other people laugh, to have fun, to enjoy a good joke, a good time.

But not at anyone else’s expense.

Respect is respect is respect. Chipping away at anyone’s respect, is chipping away at everyone’s respect.

Allowing the negative type of humor into our homes that degrades and mocks, opens the door for sarcasm, and cynicism. That type of humor certainly does not enhance or strengthen the relationships we want to build.

If the tone in our homes, husband to wife, wife to husband, parents to children, children to parents, is one of respect, then everyone feels valued and special.

Wishing you a meaningful (and fun) summer.